Tag Archives: pain

Bad Jokes

Bad Jokes

There are good jokes and there are bad jokes.  April 1st seems to bring out the really bad jokes.  I can categorize bad jokes as follows:

  1. Jokes that cause physical harm (or have the potential to do so)
  2. Jokes that cause emotional pain
  3. Jokes that are vulgar
  4. Jokes that are in bad taste

I appreciate all those who posted on social media requesting people don’t joke around about being pregnant (#2) above.  I didn’t see any of those this year.  And, my social media clean up has blocked many of those who constantly post jokes in #1 and #3 categories.  That leaves #4.

Here are some really bad taste jokes I saw today…

  • Hillary Clinton arrested – there are many of us who wish this were true, but it is bad taste joking about it.
  • First Presidency Declares Donald Trump the Anti-Christ – this one again is in bad taste as joking about spiritual matters is crass.  Plus, the story went on to denegrade President Monson.

That bring us to some funny, good ones…

  • Conference to be broadcast in 3D – strangely funny
  • Google invents plastic cardboard – hmmm… what is coroplast then?  You’d have to go to Google and read the article.  Silly and slightly corny.

I wish I could say the rest of the day was an April Fool’s joke.  Without going in to details, it was quite the day.  I guess the good thing is my photo shoot this afternoon went well.  Other than that, I’ll be glad when this day is over.

 

Oh the Pain

Oh the Pain

Oh the pain I feel after yesterdays tromp around NYC.  The bottom of my feet hurt (it appears these new shoes aren’t that great for being on my feet all day), as well as my knee.

I only got a few hours of sleep because I had an early meeting.  After that, I was wide awake and unable to go to sleep so I started in on the photos from yesterday.

copyright 2015 db walton

Tania in NYC Library

Who would have thought that the NYC public library would be such a great place to shoot.  Finding some less used stairs, I simply positioned the client near a window to get this wonderful loop lighting on her face.

I’ve put together a NYC mentoring class (see http://www.dbwalton.com/store/nyc-mentored-model-shoot/) for those who would like to learn how to find light like this, pose people, and take great pictures in public locations.  I will contract with a model (like Tania) to model for the shoot and you just need to bring your camera and be prepared to learn and get some great photos.

I spent most of the day catching up on e-mails, uploading my photos from the trip, and retouching a few of them.

Came dinner time I was exhausted and stiff and sore.

Ouch That Hurts

Ouch That Hurts

This morning I was thinking, “Ouch That Hurts.”  Monday was the first day I since my operation that I was up and about, but I still took it easy.  Today, I felt the pain even though I really did take it easy yesterday.  So, today I’ll even take it easier.

Social media really brings out the weirdoes.   Occasionally I get some private message from someone that I think is meant to insult me.  I say “I think,” because they aren’t very witty and often they don’t make any sense.  I’d put them in the category of, “Your mommy wears Army boots.”

Yeah?

So what if she does?

What does that mean anyway?

A few times the messages appear to be because I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  Hmmm… And that’s supposed to be justification to fling an insult my way — an insult that makes no sense whatsoever.

While my knee hurt last night, neither my ego nor my sensibility is hurt by these meaningless messages.  It kind of reminds me of when some teenagers were stopped next to me at a stop light.  One pointed to the front wheel of my truck, laughed and said, “Look at those stupid wheels.”

I just looked at him, shook my head in amazement, and gave him a nod as if to say, “Hello.”  His comment meant nothing to me.  I’m not sure what he got out of making the comment either.

Well, social media has brought out a lot of people who point at lifeless, brainless objects and call them stupid.

Chair Bound

Chair Bound

If you are going to be chair bound, a big old recliner is the place to be.  It is especially nice since it allows me to elevate my leg.

I did a lot of posting on an emergency preparedness site.  Finally, a young lady asked if I was on a lot of pain medication.  I laughed and responded, “No, I’m like this all of the time.”  I guess my posts were a bit tongue-n-cheek funny.  Later, she referred to me as her “hero”.  I responded to the effect, “One minute you’re accusing me of being on drugs, and the next minute I’m your hero?”

It made for a very good laugh.  And, right now, laughter is the best medicine.

It’s damp and cold outside and perhaps that is contributing to my aches and pains.  If I were to rank my painful areas it would be 1) left hip (I fell on my left hip), 2) my spine, 3) my shoulders and 4) my right knee joint and 5) my right leg where the break is.  Of course, all of that changes from day to day.  Some days it is my right leg at position 1.  Other days it has been my spine as the number 1 hurting spot.  Time will tell where this will all end up.

Tomorrow is date night and I suggested to Elizabethe she fetch Happiness Garden Chinese food and we watch a movie via Amazon Prime (we’ve got a 30-day trial).  Sounds like that is going to be our date night tomorrow.

Pain in the Butt

Any medical procedure performed in the rectal area is going to hurt.  Never let anyone tell you other wise.

About 6 weeks ago, the doctor found a lump in my prostate, and this morning they performed a biopsy.  I won’t know the results for at least a week.  After the procedure the doctor did say the chances that it is cancer are small.  He gave it a 30% probability.

I won’t gross out my readers with the details, but I will say the most painful part was getting shot with pain-killer.  It left me wondering if the actual procedure was as painful, then why not skip the pain-killer and just get it over.

Sitz baths have become very welcome today.  Each bath offers relief for about 2 hours, and then the pain-in-the-butt is back.   I also didn’t realize there were so many pain receptor nerves in that part of the body.  Pain is the body’s warning system; I realize that.  But, you don’t expect that type of pain in that part of the body.

I have a new-found appreciation for women who go through child-birth.  The tool used for my biopsy was not very big, and certainly nowhere near as big as a baby’s head.  How an eight-pound child makes it through the birth canal without killing the mother is a miracle.

The Turning Point

When I was about 45, the eye doctor informed me I need tri-focals.  When I was about 50, the doctor said, “These things happen to us guys when we turn 50.”  Now that I’m 55, I wonder what the next turning point is.

Growing old has its advantages.  I find I don’t make as many mistakes as I used to.  I have all that experience to fall back on and that leads to greater confidence.  Like all things, our bodies tend to wear our.  Today that really hit home as a disadvantage of growing older.

Around lunch time, I experienced some pain like I’ve never felt before.  I started asking myself, “Could these be a kidney stone passing through my bladder?”  It really hurt.

I returned to the house and asked Elizabethe if I could have the bedroom to myself to see if resting would make this better.  After laying there for a while, I went to roll over.  Each attempt caused a shooting pain.  I could just lay there in discomfort, but at some point, I was going to have to get off the bed so I could go pee.  Attempting some creative leg movements, I figured if I could leverage the weight of my leg I might be able to swing one leg around and that would provide some counter weight for lifting my torso.  Of course, I was there by myself and I was in a pickle.  I couldn’t ask Elizabethe to come give me a hand because I sent her out of the room, and I couldn’t use my cell phone to call her because if I couldn’t get to my cell phone for the same reason.

Uhg.

I don’t think I have ever experienced pain so sever it has made me nauseated.  I’ve heard other people talk about that sort of pain in relationship to kidney stones and child-birth.  I now know what they are talking about.  As I forced myself to move in such a way that it caused excruciating pain, I found it also brough on the urge to hurl.

Managing to get in to a sitting position, I swung my legs around and planted both feet on the floor.  Rising to my feet, that nauseating feeling returned as I made my way to the bathroom.

What was worse than the pain were all the thoughts of unfinished business.  I’ve got a commitment tomorrow night to clean the church.  Friday I told Greg I would substitute for him at the temple.  Saturday I’ve got a wedding.  I then started to catastorphize about things:

  • I’ll miss Amber’s wedding.
  • If I am totally incapacitated, would Elizabethe know who to call at GRPP to find another photographer to cover my appointments?
  • I’ll need another substitute for the wedding the week before Amber’s wedding
  • Will the airlines refund my ticket because I’m sick?
  • How much are these medical bills going to cost?

Before long,  the stress was making me more sick.  I finally manged to get to sleep and started to feel better.  A good rest is always a good turning point.