Realization

I’m in a realization mode. Over the holidays I’m realizing how much I have been in denial. The other day I completely destroyed my photography blog as a result of my myasthenia gravis. My illness caused me to goof up with the computer mouse and delete a bunch of files. Unfortunately, the system my blog is on has no undo command and no trash bin.

It took this unfortunate event to get me to realize, the myasthenia gravis is worse than I care to admit. And, like I mentioned in my previous post from earlier this month, denial and anger are part of the grieving process.

Frustration

Frustration is also part of this. I cannot begin to describe how frustrated I was that I lost all that history in my photography blog. Even restoring a backup did not bring it back. Well, it brought some files back, but it didn’t get it working. I guess it can still be recovered. Unfortunately, the brain fog that goes along with my MG prohibits me from doing it.

Exhaustion

Frustration leads to extreme exhaustion. This single incident knocked me out for days.

I have met others who are managing well with their MG. One such person has the form that mostly affects the eyes. When we were talking about our symptoms he commented how fortunate he has been that MG hasn’t impacted his larger muscles like arms and legs, but only some of his facial muscles.

On the other hand, I’ve learned of others who have been completely and totally disabled from the disease. Recently a dentist in the midwest died from MG. While death is rare these days, it still happens. I did some digging. Most deaths related to MG these days are elderly (late 70s and 80s).